Family Dispute Resolution NZ: What Grandparents Need to Know

Why the Court Won't Hear You Without It

Before the Family Court will accept an on-notice application for a parenting order, you must have attempted Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). It's a legal prerequisite under Section 46D of the Care of Children Act 2004, not a suggestion. Skip it and your application gets sent back.

FDR is formal mediation run by an approved independent provider. The mediator first assesses whether your dispute is suitable for mediation — not every situation is. If both parties attend and the dispute resolves, you sign a private agreement. If it doesn't resolve, the mediator issues a Form 12 (FDR Outcome Certificate) confirming that mediation was attempted and the matter is suitable for court. That certificate is your ticket to file.

How Much Does FDR Cost?

Government-funded FDR sessions are available through Ministry of Justice-approved providers. Eligible parties may pay nothing or a subsidised rate depending on income. Private FDR providers charge their own fees, which vary. The Ministry of Justice website lists approved providers by region.

You'll also need to complete the free Parenting Through Separation (PTS) course — a separate four-hour programme — before filing. PTS and FDR are different requirements, and you need both certificates.

The FDR Certificate Rules

Your FDR certificate is valid for 12 months from the date of issue. If you wait longer than that to file your court application, you'll need to go through FDR again. Your PTS certificate, by contrast, lasts two years.

The certificate doesn't say who was right or wrong. It simply confirms that mediation was attempted and records the outcome — whether the dispute was resolved, unresolved, or assessed as unsuitable for mediation.

When You're Exempt

Under Section 46E of the Care of Children Act, you can skip both PTS and FDR if:

• Urgency — the application is without notice because the child faces immediate safety risks or risk of removal from New Zealand.
• Family violence — you or the child have experienced family violence by a party, supported by a sworn affidavit or an active Protection Order under the Family Violence Act 2018.
• Inability to participate — a party lacks capacity, has a severe physical or mental incapacity, or lives in an inaccessible location.
• Consent application — all parties agree and are jointly filing a Consent Memorandum for the court to approve.
• Active Oranga Tamariki proceedings — the child is subject to orders or proceedings under Part 2 of the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989.

If you're claiming an exemption, you file an affidavit setting out the grounds instead of attaching the certificates.

FDR for Grandparents: The Practical Reality

Mediation assumes both sides will come to the table. When you're a grandparent seeking day-to-day care because a parent can't cope — addiction, prison, illness — the parent may refuse to attend, may be impossible to contact, or may be hostile. The mediator can assess the situation as unsuitable and issue the Form 12 on that basis.

If a parent is in prison, FDR providers can arrange remote participation, though in practice many grandparents end up qualifying for an exemption.

The process is meant to protect children from unnecessary court conflict. But it can feel like a bureaucratic hoop when the situation is already urgent. If you believe your grandchild is in immediate danger, the without-notice pathway bypasses FDR entirely.

What to Bring to FDR

Come prepared with a clear proposal for care arrangements — who the child should live with, what contact the parent should have, and any safety concerns. Bring any documentation that supports your position: school reports, medical records, Oranga Tamariki correspondence, or evidence of the parent's inability to provide care. The mediator is neutral and won't advocate for you, so being organised matters.

After FDR

If mediation succeeds, your signed agreement still isn't legally enforceable on its own. To make it binding, you can file it as a Consent Memorandum under Section 57 of COCA for the court to seal as a formal order.

If mediation fails, take your Form 12 and file your parenting order application. The certificate is one piece of a larger application pack — you'll also need the application form, a sworn affidavit, and the PTS completion certificate.

Our NZ Parenting & Guardianship Orders guide covers the full sequence from FDR through to the sealed court order, with a checklist for each stage so nothing falls through the cracks.

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