How to Get a Parenting Order in NZ as a Grandparent Without a Lawyer

You can apply for a parenting order in New Zealand as a grandparent without hiring a family lawyer. The Ministry of Justice publishes forms and procedural information for self-represented applicants. The process has a fixed sequence — pre-filing dispute resolution, the application pack, service, and a hearing — and uses official Ministry of Justice forms that you can download or generate online. The difficulty is not the law. It is that nobody puts the steps in order for you.

Here is the sequence, from the day you decide to apply to the day you walk out of court with a sealed order.

Step 1: Understand Which Order You Need

The Care of Children Act 2004 replaced the old concepts of "custody" and "access" with parenting orders (section 48) covering day-to-day care and contact, and guardianship orders (section 27) covering major life decisions — school enrolment, medical consent, travel, name changes.

A parenting order giving you day-to-day care does not automatically make you a guardian. If you need authority over school, medical, and travel decisions, you may also need a guardianship order. A caregiver seeking both day-to-day care and authority over major decisions can apply for both.

The Parenting Orders and Guardianship Guide includes a comparison table of all four order types under COCA (parenting order, court-appointed guardian, court agent, additional guardian) so you can confirm which combination fits before you start filling in forms.

Step 2: Establish Your Right to Apply (Leave)

Grandparents do not have automatic standing to apply for a parenting order. Under section 47 of COCA, you must apply for leave — the court's permission — unless one of three narrow exceptions applies:

• A parent of the child has died
• A parent has been refused contact by a court order
• A parent who is legally entitled to contact is making no attempt to exercise that contact

Even these exceptions only grant automatic standing for a contact order. If you want day-to-day care, you still need leave under section 47(1)(d).

The leave application is not a separate proceeding. You select the eligibility tick-box on the main application form and attach a supporting affidavit explaining your relationship with the child, your involvement in their life, and why granting leave serves the child's welfare and best interests.

Step 3: Complete the Pre-Filing Requirements

Unless you qualify for an exemption, you must complete two programmes before filing:

Parenting Through Separation (PTS) — a free four-hour course run by providers like Barnardos and Skylight. The certificate is valid for two years. Check provider schedules and book in advance.

Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) — formal mediation through an approved provider. If the dispute cannot be resolved, the mediator issues an FDR Outcome Certificate (Form 12). This certificate is valid for 12 months, so do not complete it too early.

Exemptions exist for urgent without-notice applications (child at immediate risk), family violence, inability to participate, consent orders where both sides agree, and active Oranga Tamariki proceedings.

Step 4: Prepare the Application Pack

Your filing pack consists of:

1. Application form (Care of Children Act) — available from the Ministry of Justice Form Generator or as a downloadable PDF. Specifies the orders you are seeking and includes the leave-to-apply section.
2. Supporting affidavit — a sworn statement of facts setting out who you are, your relationship with the child, why the parent cannot care for them, what the current living arrangement is, and why the orders are in the child's best interests. This is the most important document in your application.
3. PTS and FDR certificates (or exemption grounds)
4. Information sheet — demographics, interpreter needs, cultural background
5. Request for confidentiality (optional) — if you need your address withheld from the respondent due to safety concerns

Hand-completed or self-printed Family Court forms must be single-sided on A4 paper. The court registry rejects double-sided submissions.

Step 5: File and Pay (or Waive) the Fee

File your application at the Family Court registry closest to where the child lives — in person, by post, or by email (PDF with original signatures visible).

The filing fee for a parenting-order application is $257 NZD. No separate filing fee is listed for applications under sections 27 or 31 for guardianship-related orders. Under Regulation 7 of the Family Court (Fees) Regulations 2009, the registrar may waive the parenting-order fee if you have been granted Legal Aid for the proceeding, rely for living expenses on Jobseeker Support, Sole Parent Support, Supported Living Payment, or Emergency Benefit, rely wholly on NZ Superannuation or a Veteran's Pension, or show undue financial hardship. Submit Form CS-FW with supporting evidence; Regulation 8 postpones payment while the registrar considers the waiver application.

Step 6: Serve the Other Parties

Unless you have filed on a without-notice basis, you must serve copies of the stamped application on every parent and guardian. You cannot serve the documents yourself — an independent adult (such as a process server, court bailiff, or another person who is not a party) must deliver them.

For a respondent who resides in New Zealand, the usual period is 21 calendar days from service to file a Notice of Response, unless a judge or registrar sets a shorter time. Check the Notice to Respondent for the deadline. If they do not respond, the court may proceed without their input.

If you cannot locate the other parent, you can apply for substituted service — permission to serve by email, social media, or through a family member.

Step 7: The Hearing

If the matter is unopposed, the judge may make orders on the papers without a hearing. If it is contested, the court schedules a hearing.

The judge may appoint a lawyer for child under section 7 of COCA to represent the child's interests independently of yours or the parent's. The court may order a section 132 report by a social worker, or a section 133 specialist, psychological, or cultural report.

At the hearing, you present your case, the respondent (if they appear) presents theirs, and the judge decides based on the welfare and best interests of the child under section 4 of COCA.

What a Guide Does for Self-Represented Grandparents

Every step above uses publicly available forms and processes. What is missing from the free resources is the sequence: which form, which order type, which pre-filing step, which fee waiver, and what to expect at the hearing — all in one place, written for someone who has never been inside a Family Court.

The Parenting Orders and Guardianship Guide is a 48-page step-by-step filing system that covers all of the above, plus two worked examples (a standard-track timeline and a without-notice scenario with fee waiver arithmetic), a comparison of all four COCA order types, and five printable standalone worksheets for tracking deadlines, evidence, and court-day preparation.

Who This Process Is For

• Grandparents or whānau caregivers who are already looking after a child and need a court order for school, medical, and benefit recognition
• Self-represented applicants comfortable following written instructions and filling in official forms
• Families where the parent is absent, imprisoned, struggling with addiction, or deceased — and the main challenge is administrative, not adversarial

Who Should Get a Lawyer Instead

• The other parent has hired a lawyer and is contesting the application
• Oranga Tamariki is involved in care and protection proceedings
• There are concurrent protection order proceedings under the Family Violence Act 2018
• International elements — the parent lives overseas, or there is a risk the child will be taken out of New Zealand

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does a parenting order take in NZ?

For a respondent who resides in New Zealand, the usual response period is 21 calendar days from service, unless a judge or registrar sets a shorter time; the Notice to Respondent states the deadline. After that, further timing depends on the court's directions and any reports or hearings ordered; there is no single total-time estimate that applies to every case.

Do I need a guardianship order as well as a parenting order?

If you need authority over major life decisions (school, medical, travel, name changes), you may also need a guardianship order. A parenting order gives you day-to-day care but does not make you a guardian. A caregiver seeking both forms of authority can apply for both.

What if I cannot afford the $257 filing fee?

The registrar may waive the fee if you have been granted Legal Aid for the proceeding, rely for living expenses on a specified benefit, rely wholly on NZ Superannuation or a Veteran's Pension, or show undue financial hardship. Submit Form CS-FW with supporting evidence; payment is postponed while the registrar considers the application.

Can I apply for an urgent order if the child is at immediate risk?

Yes. A without-notice application lets you seek an interim order without telling the other parent in advance. The application requires an urgent certificate from counsel and a detailed affidavit setting out the immediate risk. If the court grants interim orders, the respondent is served and usually has 14 to 21 days to oppose and request an on-notice hearing.

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