Parental Responsibility with a Child Arrangements Order for Grandparents

What Parental Responsibility Actually Means for a Relative Carer

Parental responsibility is the legal authority to make decisions about a child's upbringing — schooling, medical treatment, religious instruction, travel. Under Section 3 of the Children Act 1989, it covers "all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has."

For grandparents and relatives raising a child day to day, the practical question is blunt: can you sign the school consent form, register the child at a GP, or authorise routine medical treatment? Without parental responsibility, the answer is no. The school, surgery, and benefits office will ask for documentation, and informal care arrangements don't provide it.

How a "Lives With" Order Grants Parental Responsibility

Section 12(2) of the Children Act 1989 is the mechanism. When a court makes a child arrangements order specifying that a child "lives with" someone who is not the child's parent, that person automatically acquires parental responsibility for the duration of the order.

There is no separate application. The parental responsibility attaches to the order itself. If the court grants a "lives with" CAO naming you as the person the child lives with, you hold parental responsibility from the moment the order takes effect until it expires (usually when the child turns 16, or 18 in exceptional cases).

This is different from a "spends time with" order. A relative named only in a "spends time with" provision does not gain parental responsibility.

Shared Responsibility — Not Sole Authority

A "lives with" CAO does not strip parental responsibility from the parents. It creates shared parental responsibility. You hold it alongside the child's mother and father (or anyone else who already has it).

For everyday decisions — school meals, haircuts, GP appointments, after-school clubs — the person with day-to-day care generally acts without consulting other PR holders. That practical authority is one of the main reasons relatives apply for a "lives with" order in the first place.

But certain decisions require the written consent of every person holding parental responsibility, or a specific court order:

• Changing the child's surname — Section 13(1)(a) of the Children Act 1989 prohibits this without unanimous PR holder consent or court permission
• Taking the child out of the UK for a period of less than one month — Section 13(2) allows the person named in a "lives with" order to do this without consent; a longer trip needs agreement from all PR holders or court leave
• Consenting to major surgery or adoption — these require either all PR holders' consent or court authorisation

What You Can Do with Parental Responsibility

Once you hold PR through a "lives with" CAO, you carry the sealed court order to the relevant agencies. Here is what it unlocks:

Education: Enrol the child in a new school, access school records, consent to educational trips, attend parents' evenings and make decisions about Special Educational Needs (SEN) support.

Healthcare: Register the child with a GP surgery, consent to vaccinations and routine treatment, access medical records, and arrange dental and optical care.

Benefits: Claim Child Benefit through HMRC (if the parents were previously claiming, submit a new claim with a copy of the CAO to transfer it). Claim the Universal Credit child element; since 6 April 2026, the two-child limit no longer applies. If both parents are deceased, or one died while the surviving parent's whereabouts were unknown and reasonable efforts to find them failed, or the surviving parent had at least two years remaining on a custodial sentence at that date, you may qualify for Guardian's Allowance on top of Child Benefit.

Travel: Take the child abroad for less than one month without needing consent from other PR holders. Obtain a passport for the child (though passport applications for under-16s normally require consent from all PR holders).

When Parental Responsibility Ends

Your parental responsibility lasts exactly as long as the "lives with" order. If the order is:

• Discharged by the court
• Varied to a "spends time with" arrangement instead
• Expired when the child reaches 16 (or 18 if extended)

...then your parental responsibility terminates immediately by operation of law. There is no grace period, and it cannot be preserved separately from the order.

This is one of the structural differences between a CAO and a Special Guardianship Order. An SGO gives the guardian overriding parental responsibility that can only be removed by a court discharge, and it runs automatically until the child turns 18.

Getting the Order

Applying for a child arrangements order as a grandparent or relative involves permission checks, a mandatory mediation step (MIAM), the C100 application form, Cafcass safeguarding checks, and court hearings. The Child Arrangements Order Process Guide walks through each step — from working out whether you need the court's permission to apply, through to using the sealed order with schools and benefit agencies.

If you are weighing whether a CAO or an SGO better fits your situation, the key parental responsibility difference is this: a CAO shares PR alongside the parents; an SGO gives you PR that overrides parental decisions on most matters. The right choice depends on how much authority you need and whether the parents are cooperative.

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